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Last Updated: May 6, References. This article was co-authored by Candice Mostisser. She specializes in coaching others on best practices and strategies to succeed on first dates and in the online dating world. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the. This article has been viewed 50, times. Are you just good friends? Could you be more? How do you go from just friends to dating?
Exiting the friend zone in real life can be risky business, doing damage to your friendship or even to a wider circle of friends and acquaintances. While the rewards seem great, you should be mindful of the perils and sure of yourself before acting. If you think you like your friend romantically, try to find out if the feelings are shared before suggesting a date.
You can do this by observing how your friend acts around you. If your friend acts affectionate and flirts a little with you, this may be a that they like you! If your friend talks about other people they like or treats you like a sibling, they may only see you as a friend. Try deepening your bond by doing something your friend loves, like going along to watch them play tennis or even ing them in a match. Then, after weighing up your observations and feelings, you can confess how you feel and ask for a date. For tips on how to navigate your first date, read on!
Download Article Explore this Article parts. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1 of Consider the risks. You are about to take a big risk. However close you may be, and however compatible you are as platonic friends, going from friend to boyfriend or girlfriend is a huge change in any relationship — so huge that it will be changed forever. You should therefore carefully consider whether the risk is worth it.
Can you get over a rejection? Are you willing to risk harming your friendship, even ending it, for the chance at love? You, and your friend, might not want that. Look for hints. Try to find out if the feeling is mutual. Does your friend seem to drop verbal or physical hints that she sees you as a potential partner?
Does she flirt with you? Or, does she treat you as a sibling or talk about her attraction to others? If the latter, then she may be alling that she isn't interested in you. Think compatibility. You may be perfectly compatible as friends. You may get along famously, spending hours together one-on-one or in larger groups of friends, laughing together, and sharing all of your thoughts.
But this does not guarantee you will be compatible as lovers. Do you share the same values? Will you have good chemistry? If you cannot determine this, can you honestly imagine that the two of you would work as a couple? Be sure of your motives. Are you sure that your feelings are more than just lust or passing fancy?
Sometimes major life events push people together and cloud our judgement. Are you on the rebound? Are you lonely? Are you both dealing with personal loss, like a death in the family? If the catalyst is one of these, you may want to wait and see how you feel in one or two months. Make certain that your interest is motivated by legitimate desire, longing, or love. Prepare for a rejection.
It may be that she doesn't see you as anything more than a friend. You have to be prepared for that possibility. You also have to understand that your relationship won't be quite the same once you've come clean with your feelings. It may be awkward, or it may end entirely. If you have decided to risk your friendship, you have to be able to accept the consequences.
Part 2 of Plant the seed. One way to begin your move is to al that you are indeed interested. Your friend may not realize it, and she may share your feelings and have no idea that you feel the same way. Talk openly about your dating life. Perhaps even ask your friend about hers. You will have to change the way that she sees you, and to show her that you are looking for a relationship. Deepen your interest. If you have known each other for a while, you should already have some idea of what your friend likes, dislikes, does for fun, and looks for in others.
Deepen your interest in her. Ask her about her activities. Does she like tennis? Didn't she know that you do too? Perhaps you could play a match together sometime? Focus on activities that you share with an eye to demonstrating your compatibility. Scientific studies show that flirting — alling interest and availability — often trumps physical attractiveness.
Smile, make eye contact, joke, perhaps even lightly touch your friend on the arm. But don't come out too strong or too physically. After all, your aim is to al your interest and at the same time put your friend at ease. Make her feel comfortable. Even if you are flirting, always keep your friend's level of comfort in mind. The worst possible thing you can do is to put her off by coming on too strongly.
Laughter is usually a good social lubricant; make her laugh and show by your behavior and demeanor that you are a fun person, and that you enjoy her company. Try to be your old lighthearted self - the one that she knows so well - and not let the pressures of the situation make you too serious.
Ask for a date. After you have weighed the decision, aled your interest, and tested the waters, it is at last time to take the leap: ask your friend out. Keep in mind that you will have to be upfront about what you are asking so that there is no ambiguity. This is a date, not just a friendly get-together. The best way is to ask her in person.
This will let you see her body language and reaction and help you to modify your behavior in turn. You may be more comfortable asking over the phone, by message, or through a third person, and these are all valid options. But keep in mind that face to face contact, however scary, is more personal and friendly. Part 3 of Arrange a first date. Your friend said yes. What took you so long to ask!
In arranging the first date it is important to keep the situation low key. You've never been together in this way before, and both of you may feel stressed. Go for a walk together, play a tennis match, go for coffee. It does not need to be a major event or even last long. The key thing is to see each other in a new dynamic. Go slowly at first. If the first date was a success, start to see each other more regularly.
On the other hand, make an effort to treat your new beau as a beau, not just your friend. Start to plan proper dates and make it clear that the relationship has changed.
Get physical when the time is right. There is no need to rush this.
You may already be used to greeting each other with a hug. Start there. After one or two dates, try holding her hand. Be as confident and relaxed as possible, finding new but still comfortable ways to add touch to the relationship. In time, and with chemistry, you can start thinking about the first kiss and cuddling. Be open about the relationship.
You and your beau should be clear with each other about your expectations. If one of you wants a serious relationship and the other does not, things will probably not work out. Let your friends in on your changed status, as well, especially if they are mutual friends. Keeping them in the dark may make it seem as though you hiding something, or make for added complications. Accept rejection gracefully.
Your friend may say no.Be my date friend
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